Every January, there's a reunion I attend--it's of former staffers of a publication I worked for years ago. A year ago--and a year before that, and before that--many amazing writers, editors, designers and photo mavens were laid off from this publication. More followed in the layoff line not long after that.
At the reunion, I ran into two women who I respect and admire. One was laid off just before she had her second child, the other has a child in kindergarten. Both are now freelancing, earning far less than they were before, but both are reluctant to return to full-time work--at least not know. I know with time, even a layoff can seem like a blessing if you can still manage financially, but their reasoning was deeper than that. For starters, the woman who is now a mother of two recounted to me how she used to rush from the train, totally spent from a hectic day at work and wondering what she'd do to spend real, quality time with her child. Sometimes she even dreaded day care pick up, almost paralyzed at the thought of the next few hours, uncertain how she'd muster the mom-ness she wanted to feel. Now, she says, she's still dropping the kids off at day care, but when it's time to pick them up (earlier than the old days) she's excited, she can't wait to see them and she's got more to give them. The other woman has a child my oldest son's age, a kindergartner. When I asked if she wanted to go back to a full-time staff job, she said he daughter was in kindergarten and she was enjoying it for now--granted, more frugally. Both talked about going back full-time down the road, maybe in a year.
I'm not in a position where I could "afford" to be laid off. But I couldn't help but be a little dreamy-eyed at the idea of the lives they were living, even for a few months time.What's more, they'd lived through a big financial (and emotional) upheaval and seemed to have come out stronger and with clearer visions of what they wanted and needed out of work and life.
I suspect if I were to end up freelancing, my Type-A persona and deep-seated worries about making ends meet--even when I don't need to worry so much--would keep me churning out work and pitching to line up the next story or project. But, a girl can daydream a little about the way she'd be if she were, say, Type A-minus, right?
I have a good friend (who I also used to work with) who asked me recently if I'd be interested in a staff job again, and I said no. She said, "Really?" And I said, "Really." I wouldn't trade my current flexibility for the world. When my daughter was an infant, I worked four days a week for the first year of her life. Then I went back to five days, but when I have my second child, I'll probably go to four days again for a while. The difference, maybe, is that I went freelance while I was still pretty low on the ladder, and last year I made more than twice what I did on staff. That helps.
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